Mountains

 

One day at a time, I tell the reflection in the mirror,

Because sweet girl, one day, you won’t be weighed down by all this sadness and fear. Healing is coming just hold on tight, be brave and don’t back down from this fight for your life. 

Your heart will be lighter, free as a bird, for the Heavenly Father will fulfill the promises of His word.

One day at A time I whisper through my tears, as I feel my heart breaking as I exhale into the crisp fall air.

We all climb our own mountains each and every day,

And for me, the mountains of my mind, are the hardest that I face.

They tell me I’m not, I won’t, or I can’t. They tell me I’m not strong enough to make it through this trauma aftermath. They push and they prod, as my grasp starts to slip,

Forcing myself to hold my breath and claw my way back onto the cliff.

I can’t explain these mountains to anyone else, I have to smile, be brave, and pretend I feel strong enough.

I’m exhausted, I’m worn, I’m tired of fighting alone, but maybe it’s time to let go and fully trust the one who breathes new life into my fragile, shattered soul.

I think maybe these mountains are here for a reason. Maybe they are here to teach about life’s million little seasons.

To teach me that God has a purpose and plan, to teach me that he alone will heal, that he understands.

He knows I’m imperfect, he knows my heart is sick, but even so, he takes my hand and tells me it’s ok, He’s got this. He gives me a name, a place, and a home, he gives me people who show me, I belong when I feel so sad, scared, and alone. He gives me people who embrace me, who welcome me in, he shows me I have a role in this big family of His.

So even though I feel broken tonight, I sit in the silence to read his words through my tear blurred eyes. “Talitha Koum” he says to me, rise my daughter, I will provide for your needs. You belong in His family, your heart has a home, and believe me sweet one, you are loved more than you will ever know- up to the moon and across all the shores, close you eyes, sleep tight tonight, and know you’re held by the Lord.