I stand at a crossroads,
Two roads to choose.
One is dark and jagged,
The other is light and truth.
Life changing moments will be found on both the paths,
One road lead to happiness
One to sadness and even death.
Paralyzed by fear I walked with my friend, ed
But the longer we walked, the more he manipulated my head.
“You’re worthless, you’re fat, a mistake at best,
You’ll never be loved but if you stick with me, we can surely change that.
You’re too much, not enough, face it- you will never measure up”
I will spend this life chasing his numbers- a slave to the scale,
But no matter the number I will always feel like I failed.
So, I stay on this road because it’s all he says I deserve
His voice cold and callus and disgustingly perverse
I’ll starve, binge, and purge and spend hours in the gym
All this wasted time chasing after one tiny ounce of worth.
But I stand at this crossroads
And stare at the paths
One is dark and jagged
One is calling me to take a step.
This path is so bright
I know it can’t be Ed’s!
This road whispered real promises and they weren’t from ed.
Truth pulled at my heart.
Love flooded my soul.
I knew, deep down for a moment I was more than the lies ed told.
Then someone took my hand,
I knew she was the one I could trust instead of ed.
Together we chose the path of hope
And in a moment, I decided to surrender ed’s side of this tug of war rope.
At the crossroads I stood,
But I took that first step,
On the path of life, and truth, and a future without ed.
Like a baby learning to walk I will have my share of falls,
But with God in my heart, I can overcome it all.
I will fight
I will pray
I will be set free.
I will walk by faith and find the woman who God made me to be.
What lies ahead is unknown
But God will hold my hand down this road unknown.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
- 2 Corinthians 5:7